the girls have gone wild...

don't get me wrong there are some boys out there who have totally lost their minds, but every time i turn around i hear something about a girl that either i know, or friend's family member, or a family member's friend who has just gone wild.

i've heard so many stories lately that it just makes my head spin...and my heart hurt.

there's the teen girl who got pregnant by a guy she had sex with in a very public place. who wasn't her boyfriend.

there's the teen girl who tells a boy her age that she likes "aggressive boys." so aggressive that if she were slap her boyfriend she'd want him to choke her out.

the teen girls who seem to be sexually confused. who chase boys and then turn around and kiss their girlfriends.

there was a story in the news recently here in dc about a ceremony held by district youth services to honor troubled teens and a fight between girls broke out during the event.

i mean really, how daggone ridiculous is that?

in my teen years i thought i knew everything about everything, but i wasn't so stubborn that i didn't listen to the wisdom and advice of my elders. but with some of today's teens that level of respect is just missing. and why?

how do we reach out to these young women and make an impact when they're so intrigued by the glitz and glamour of music videos, the success of porn stars and the fast life of celebrities?

what do you say to the teen girls in your life to inspire them?

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Comment by Michelle N. Smith on October 28, 2010 at 10:49am: This is very sad. I see it in my neighborhood all the time. My son is 15 and he can hardly fight off the girls with a stick. When I was coming up, we (as girls) did not chase men. Men chased us. I don't know what's gone wrong but I will teach my daughter and my son how to conduct themselves with dignity.

Comment by Marie Chanté Flowers on September 1, 2010 at 5:31pm: Wow! This really hits home. In the last couple of weeks I've been an listening ear for my two sisters (one maternal one paternal) to share parenting woes. It's sad to see the babies you raise off the chain. Much of me echo the saying "Children live what they learn" and part of me say "Child, you've been told better." I understand both sides. When I was 14, so much had gone wrong in my life, it was very difficult to see anything right and I was the young lady/grown woman folk shake their heads at. Then, someone (an elder) grabbed my hand and said, "Baby, there is a better way!" As a mother, I know my actions are what inspire my children (whether I bore them or not) to be the people I pray I'm raising them to be. I've learned from experience and comparing stories of our youth today, so many of the youth are gone wild, because the adults in their lives went wild long ago! I wrestle myself while raising teen sons (14 & soon to be 18) and having teen girls look up to me. Am I living a life I am proud of and would want them to mirror? Does my actions line up with my word? It's not so much what I say, but what I do (be it in their eyesight or not).

Comment by mama's got moxie on August 30, 2010 at 11:15am: i think you posed an excellent question to them. i'm realizing with the young girls in my circle that positive reinforcement and inspiring words ain't gettin' it! i think next time i'll try coming up with more thought provoking conversation instead of just saying over and over, "you're smart...you're beautiful...you can be whatever you want in life..." i think those are just words to them sometimes and they're not really getting it.

Comment by Aja Graydon Dantzler on August 30, 2010 at 10:04am: Not just girls but women too. The population in women's prisons is rising. Maybe our girls are just buggin because the of the lack of real female role models. To answer your question I asked some young ladies recently "What qualities did they feel young men would look for in a wife (not a girlfriend, baby mama, boo, or wifey)?" and " Do you think the behavior of you and your friends seem like that of someone's future wife?". It wasn't meant to inspire them but rather get them thinking from a different perspective.