KINDERGARTEN AND THE VELVET ROPE

IF YOU KNOW ME AT ALL YOU KNOW THAT I THINK THE NEW OBSESSION IS CHILDREN. ANYONE WHO CAN THINK OF A HIGH END BABY PRODUCT CAN SCAM THEIR WAY INTO ALOT OF MONEY. NOT TO MENTION THE PROMISE OF READING BABIES AND TURNING YOUR THIRD GRADER IN TO A MATH GENIUS FOR $19.99.

DON'T GET ME WRONG THO, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH RAISING A HIGH ACHIEVER. IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WITH A NATURAL THIRST TO LEARN, NURTURE IT BY ALL MEANS. IF YOU GOT ONE THAT NEEDS PUSHING, PUSH AWAY. MOST GREAT PEOPLE HAD PUSHY MOTHERS/FATHERS. I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU, HOWEVER, HOW MUCH IT BURNS ME UP TO SEE PARENTS OBSESSING ABOUT BREEDING THE PERFECT CHILD AND HOW THIS NEW "STANDARD" HAS TURNED LOTS OF PERFECTLY NORMAL PARENTS INTO BLOODTHIRSTY, NEUROTIC , SECRETARY STALKERS TRYING TO GET THEIR CHILD INTO BELIEVE IT OR NOT, KINDERGARTEN!

WITH THE ECONOMY IN THE TANK, THE OPTION OF PRIVATE SCHOOL IS UNREALISTIC FOR A MUCH LARGER PORTION OF THE POPULATION. THE PROPERTY VALUE OF CITY PROPERTY VERSUS SUBURBS IS ALOT MORE STABLE AND WITH CONSTANT GENTRIFICATION, A LITTLE MORE LUCRATIVE. THIS ADDS UP TO MORE FAMILIES LIVING IN THE CITY WHO NEED QUALITY PUBLIC EDUCATION FOR THEIR KIDS. PROBLEM? THERE'S NOT ENOUGH GOOD SCHOOLS TO TO GO AROUND. SOME SCHOOLS DEAL WITH THIS BY SAYING HEY IF YOU DON'T LIVE IN THE AREA OF THE SCHOOL, NO GO. OTHERS FILL THE CLASSES WITH IMMEDIATE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS, THEN MAKE "SLOTS" AVAILABLE FOR OUTSIDE FOLKS. YOU ALSO HAVE LONG WAITING LISTS AT CHARTER SCHOOLS FOR ANYONE WHO SIGNS UP. BETWEEN NEW RESIDENTS AND OLD RESIDENTS DISSATISFIED WITH THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD SCHOOL,THERE IS BATTLE OF THE SAVVIEST AND THE TRANSFORMATION OF EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION TO STUDIO 54. VELVET ROPE AND ALL.

WHAT EVER IT TAKES FOR YOUR KIDS RIGHT? HEY I UNDERSTAND. I'D DO ANYTHING FOR MY CHILDREN BUT IS "ANYTHING " REQUIRED FOR OUR KIDS. I MEAN WE ARE TREATING KINDERGARTEN LIKE ITS JUNIOR YEAR, LIKE IF OUR KIDS FUDGE IT IT WILL BESMUDGE THE INFAMOUS PERMANENT RECORD. AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MONTISSORI? REMEMBER THAT( IT WAS BIG IN THE LATE SEVENTIES, EARLY EIGHTIES). A PHILOSOPHY OF PLAY LEARNING WHERE CHILDREN JUST KIND OF DID THEIR OWN THING.(THERE WAS A WAITING LIST FOR THAT TOO..LOL). LET'S NOT EVEN MENTION DAYCARE, A TERM THAT I WAS INFORMED IS NO LONGER PC. THE CORRECT LANGUAGE IS EARLY LEARNING CENTER. SOUNDS LIKE 100 MORE DOLLARS A WEEK TO ME. DON'T YOU SEE THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE PREYING ON THIS "MY KIDS SMARTER THAN YOUR KID" MENTALITY. C'MON PEOPLE WISE UP!

I WAS STROLLING MY CHILD THROUGH THE PARK AND WE STOPPED TO PLAY. IN ROLLS A MOM WITH HER 800 DOLLAR BUGABOO STROLLER AND HER YEAR OLD BABY WHO WAS READING "CHARLOTTTE'S WEB".( OKAY I'M EMBELLISHING FOR THE STORY SAKE). THE BABY TRIES TO GET OUT AND PLAY BUT THE MOM INSISTS SHE FINISH THE CHAPTER SHE STARTED. BABY GIVES IN AND BEGINS TO READ. THE MOTHER SHOOTS ME A " I KNOW UR JEALOUS" LOOK. HER KID READS. MY KID FARTS TO MAKE HERSELF LAUGH. SUDDENLY HER BABY DROPS THE BOOK AND BEGINS TO CRY. MY DAUGHTER STOPS PLAYING AND RUNS OVER TO PICK IT UP. SHE GIVES IT BACK AND GOES ABOUT HER BUSINESS PASSING GAS ON HER WAY BACK TO THE SLIDE. A TEACHER TOLD ME ONCE THAT I HAD VERY COMPASSIONATE CHILDREN. I WANT SMART KIDS TO BRAG ABOUT JUST LIKE EVERY MOTHER I KNOW BUT I THINK MAYBE I'LL TAKE THAT OVER "CHARLOTTES WEB" ANY DAY.

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Comment by mama's got moxie on April 22, 2010 at 10:23am: luv it!!! this is a topic i've had many, many conversations with friends and on the moms social community i manage. the funny thing is that even if your child can read at 18 months, it doesn't mean that they're a shoo-in for harvard so geez louise some of these parents should really relax.

my son will be going to kindergarten this fall and i have to admit that i thought he should know certain things before entering so i was a little pushy at teaching him these things at first. then i realized that a lot of those feelings came from having a good girlfriend with a son who is the same age as mine. she'd tell me about all the cool things her son was learning at his daycare - oh, he's writing his whole name, they're learning spanish, and on thursdays they go to karate. i really had to step back and check my feelings because i've never been a competitive person...i've always just rolled through life to my own rhythm and i wasn't about to allow competitiveness be a part of me...now, when i'm all up in my 30s.

so now i'm more concerned with son being able to sit still throughout a full day of school and i'm hoping that we can get the whole tying your shoelaces thing down by fall. much to my surprise those are the two things i've heard from a kindergarten teacher are really the most important. yes, my son can write his name now, but he can also make his own bed and mop the kitchen floor. there are so many other parts of his personality that blow me away that don't include a checklist of things he can do. he's caring and witty and funny and an all around cool kid and at 4 years old that's good enough. he can be tri-ligual and get the black belt later, you know, when he's like 6. hahaha...

Comment by Marie Chanté Flowers on April 1, 2010 at 10:26am: :~) I think teaching our children to understand the importance of learning while reminding them that it's ok to be a kid...is what's best. I believe compassionate children was the wiser ones...

Comment by Celeste Sulaiman on March 31, 2010 at 11:24pm: LOVE IT!!!!!!!! I must admit i have fallen victim to the competitive mom syndrome at times (its kinda hard not to be competitive being married to one of Nisaa's kids. it kinda rubs off on you, LOL) I am a product of a Montessori school and was looking to enroll my 5 year old son in one for Kindergarten. But of course I am in the category of weighing the options of paying for school or taking advantage of the public school that my tax dollars support. (Luckily we live in Delaware County so the public schools have excellent academic stats) I believe learning while playing is a great concept. We see it everyday! put a tune behind some words and presto! you know a whole song from beginning to end. The person who came up with the alphabet song should have continued their genius and sang about algebra, history, and science. I have seen proof in my own son. Now he can sing along to any song on the radio (No, Im not proud of that) but drags along when he has to write the words of the day and sentences. On the same note I can ask him to say his ABC's, days of the week, and months of the year and he will belt out a lovely tune giving me all that information perfectly. I just smile and continue to encourage him to do his best. Hey i figure that sloppy handwriting may be a clue that he will be a doctor, LOL! Us grown ups just have to let our kids be kids!! cause once they grow up there is no going back!

Comment by Ehsence Dudley on March 31, 2010 at 7:18am: I have had very similar thoughts. What I encourage my son to do is have fun while he's learning. Like when we are doing his Kindergarten homework, I want his handwriting to be legible; but if it hangs off the line a bit or if the o is not a perfect circle that is fine. He has more fun with his Mommy pretending she's a letter and brushing up against him to demonstrate that letters don't like other letters "all up in their business" :o). Or seeing his Mommy dangle off the chair to demonstrate how g, j, p, q and y like to hang off the line. At the end of the day my son respects his teachers, enjoys learning and helps others understand what he has learned; so I am the proudest mom you'll ever meet.

Comment by Veronica Hughes on March 30, 2010 at 8:25pm: I think you have made an excellent point! I am currently in a struggle with my 7 year old's school's expectations from him and the pace in which I think he should be learning. The standards are so ridiculous for 2nd grade that I think who ever designs this stuff can't have kids! In essence it is creating a competitive, dog eat dog environment for all involved. Once I complained to my 2nd grader's principal about him having 2 hours of homework and her comments to me were "most parents want their kids to be challenged" I was so angry and hurt....a challenge to a 7 year old does not need to come in the form of 2 hours of homework per night!

Comment by karen e avent tahira on March 30, 2010 at 7:40pm: BAYBEE U SAID A MOUTHFUL THESE FOLKS IS CRAZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ONE THING UR KIDZ HAVE THAT IS PRICELESS A WHOLE LOT OF REAL LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BAYBEE................