I can't tell you how many times we have been asked the question, " How do you make time for intimacy between having six children, home and career?". Over the years our strategy has been ever changing, however with a newly vascectomized hubby and our infant on semi solid foods, romance is definitely in the air. In a recent conversation with friend and brandnewmommy.com founder Karen Taylor Bass the magic question comes up, "How do you guys do date night?". HMMMM...This term "date night" was a little foriegn to me as it conjoured up a vision of a planned evening complete with teenage babysitter, dress clothes, and reservations. These days the closest thing to "planned" that we get is the covert convo between me and the hubs when we recognize an opportunity to meet secretly while the kids are occupied. The artist in me decided not to mourn the abscence of this "Cosbyesque" date night format but rather create my own version. This little personal think tank sparked the memory of a recent "Date" that really left a lasting impression on me and the hubs.I thought it would also be a useful template for my new, personal definition.
Recently we found ourselves in Miami performing for a bloggers conference (Blogalicious).( Neo Date Night rule #1 taking advantage of our unique lifestyle to carve out alone time). Business is business but there is nothing like a little sunshine and a tropical setting to make work seem like play. While enjoying some down time we decided go shopping. As we strolled down Lincoln road feeding our mutual shoe addiction, we stumbled upon something that could spark romance into any relationship, the perfect pair of leopard print pumps. (Rule #2...using even the smallest commonality in interests to create a fun outing). I tried them on and walked around the store. I was in love and as I gawked in the mirror I noticed that someone else was in love too.( Rule #3...never waste that "ah ha" moment). We both agreed they were a must buy. Watching his reaction to my little sashay started my romance wheels a turning. I told him I had a few more stores to look into so we parted ways and agreed to meet back at the hotel. After pulling together an outfit to match my purchase, I made arrangements with my travel nanny aka willing relative who agrees to go with us and low and behold a plan was made .( Rule #4 Never waste a babysitter). I headed back to meet my husband babyless and on a mission.(Rule# 5 you can never go wrong with a surprise that includes lingerie)
There you have it. somewhere between business and shoes, relatives and room service a mother and father of six managed to squander some romance, fun, spontinaety and passion. When you have alot going on I 've learned that you have to go with the flow. Sure I'd love our quality time to include evenings out at a show or dinner at a swanky spot but it can't always happen that way. In fact, it rarely does. Like every woman, I make the best out of my circumstances and get creative!Romance, like your relationship is taylor made to you and your boo. For us I know our approach to "Us Time " will probably change again but I look forward it. Looking back I've decided I like a date night that looks like mine. Unplanned and out of the box but loosely based on a few simple rules.