BACK TO SCHOOL...BACK TO THE FUTURE

Number two pencils? Check. Loose leaf notebook paper? Check. Snazzy backpack? For shizzle. Cell phone? PAUSE.

As a mother of three school age children ( three others still in diapers) I knew I would be buried under a mountain of back to school supply lists, uniforms and last minute summer reading reviews but nothing prepared me for the two hour plea from my eleven year old to buy him, dare I say it, a cell phone. I have already been deemed the "dino" of the house as I was not on board with the purchase of his game console nor the portable version of it purchased just a year later so it was no surprise to my son that my answer was no. I could not understand. Why would you need such a thing? Your lifestlyle consists of going to school or being within ear shot of me or your father. When would you need it? Regardless of the answer to that question, my answer is still no. As I watched the face get longer and the eyes well up, the whole scene conjoured up a vison from the "Parents just don't understand " video where Will Smith's pretend mom shakes her finger rapping " You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show." My flashback almost had me feeling his pain until he commits the ultimate begging child faux pas, " Everybody else has one mom!". Aw hell naw! I'm not about to do anything because a bunch of other parents are doing it. You can really forget it now.

As he walked away defeated and dejected I began to soapbox to myself, " What is the world coming to when children are walking around carrying cell phones?". "Why on earth is this an expected accessory and not a premature luxury?" I was totally against it and sure of my reasons but feeling way misunderstood and even a bit like a stick in the mud. As a "brand" new mommy my son has seen me use this little box as a tool for convienence and business so I understood the "grown up" allure but the mere act of him requesting one, suddenly made me see it more like a glass of wine or an "R" rated movie....ADULTS ONLY. Even more so with the growing popularity of text bullying, out of control promiscuity and just plain distraction from school work. I muddled over it for a minute. "What parent would seriously open this Pandora's box ?" I tried to see it from another point of view. Perhaps a parent whose child must walk home alone after school needs a way to track and contact them at all times? Perhaps a parent that no longer shares a residence with their child wants to talk to them without their ex as a mediator? Maybe it's just a different time and a cell phone is just like the pair Guess jeans I begged my mom for, coming back to haunt me. I figured of course that every parent has their reasons and maybe everything is not so cut and dry.

So after much internal debate and diplomacy in my heart, I got my car keys and drove to the store. I love my son and he is a responsible, respectful and giving child ( at least this is what I told myself on the way there). I returned home and climbed the stairs to his room.I opened the bag and placed it on the bed, and there it was, the great symbol of my compromise. A brand new pair of Guess jeans. Have a great school year son.

Tags: BACK, BLOG/KINDRED, FAMILY, JEANS/CELLPHONES, SCHOOL/AJA, SOUL/GUESS, THE, TO

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Comment by Gail Davis on August 1, 2012 at 1:34am: That is too funny! So glad you didn't fall for the Okey Doke!

Comment by Maliyka A. Muhammad on October 27, 2011 at 8:41pm: LMAO...I love it

Comment by Alecea Cartwright on January 30, 2011 at 10:56am: I teach 11-14 year olds. I've had to confiscate phones because they ring during a test, go off while in student's lockers, end up stolen by another student (which interrupts learning time because we have to investigate)...who is call this child at 11:15 am? For the reasons you listed above, I understand. I have students who walk home and students with parents who are separated, etc. But when you give a child a cell phone because it's something fun to have, you end up with a whole new set of problems you really don't need to deal with (child up at night on the phone, sexting, etc). APPLAUSE TO YOU!

Comment by Todd E. Thompson on January 2, 2011 at 12:11am: Listen Aja, I applauded you for not succumbing to what other parents do and stuck to your guns. Of course there are situations were a cell phone is needed for young kids like those children who are "latch key" kids as I was to make sure they get home safely or a child involved in extra curriclar activities and you need to scoop them up or what ever. But two things come into play. The first thing is if your child can handle the responsibility, which probably wouldn't be a problem since your son is responsible. The other is if it's necessary and obviously it wasn't. Don't sweat it sis. Keep it "old school"! LOL Trust when I tell you, there are some of us "throwback" parents out here under the age of 40 so keep reppin! Grace and Peace to you and Fatin.

Comment by Arnita Putman on December 1, 2010 at 2:49pm: Too funny!! I have a family member with a six year old who has a phone. I can not not and will not later on, understand what she needs it for.l She does get the school bus, but to me that is not a motivating factor. People were trying to get me to do the same and I just laughed!

Comment by Natasha on November 15, 2010 at 9:04am: LoL, Hi Aja, Going through the same thing with my 10 year old son. They seem to want to grow up way too fast. If he's not complaining about not having a facebook profile, he's begging me for a cell. My trump card has so far been to ask him exactly why he needs one. He normally desperately whines about the fact that he is the only boy in his class without one (which after some investigation I found to be a huge exaggeration). I don't know about your son, but mine is constantly losing things. So I tell him, when he is more responsible, then, I might consider he's ready for a cell. I'm hoping that will buy me a couple of years. Look forward to meeting you when you on your upcoming visit to London x

Comment by Elizabeth Thomas on November 5, 2010 at 11:08am: I'm a littel late reading this article also, but I just love it. He has the cuties thank you look on his face!

Comment by LaShonda Cooley on October 8, 2010 at 11:35am: Im a little late...but loved this article ;0) I have a five year old so we're not there yet :)